My husband said something yesterday at Cross Point that I can’t get out of my mind.
Control is the greatest of all illusions that you’ll face in your life.
I’m not a control freak, in fact I think most people who know me would describe me as a little Type A, but not a control freak (I hide my controlling tendency well). However, I find so much security in control. Comfort in knowing “what’s next.” Always functioning from “my plan.”
I know obedience is the key… I believe miracles always happen on the other side of obedience. Even with that knowledge control still allures me. Control is still a temptation.
Thoughts???
Wow. Control as an illusion. Guess I never thought of it that way but it makes total sense.
We think we are in control, can prevent things from happening or make things occur and God is watching, saying, “Poor Cindy, she thinks it up to her.”
And then he hugs me tight when things don’t go my way.
Good point on the hubby’s part.
By: Cindy Beall on October 26, 2009
at 7:51 am
I wrote about this recently on my blog particularly in relation to my children. I’ve always struggled a bit in this area and it really took God taking me far out of my comfort zone for me to let go. I can’t say I’ve managed it entirely but I’m working on it : ) Here’s the link if you are interested-
http://joyce-fromthissideofthepond.blogspot.com/2009/10/two-words.html
Happy Monday!
By: joyce on October 26, 2009
at 7:56 am
I have a chronic illness and one of the benefits is that I don’t have that illusion anymore. I realise and experience everyday that I’m absolutely not in control.
Sometimes I’m jealous of all the people around me who seem to have so much control over their lives. But yes, ’seem’, cause no one has any control, they just think they do.
Although I’m not happy about my situation, I AM happy that I have figured that I have no control whatsoever. No one has.
It’s better to know the (difficult) truth than live in an illusion and thínk you have control.
By: anna on October 26, 2009
at 7:57 am
I think motherhood has transformed my controlling ways. I have learned through 3 unexpected pregnancies and marrying and military man (which means moving every 4 years) that God’s control is perfect and if I can surrender to His plan that I will find joy. I haven’t always done that with the peaceful spirit that I am striving for and without a struggle, but I’m working on it.
By: Andrea on October 26, 2009
at 8:01 am
The “control” issue for women started in the garden with Eve. She was lured into eating the forbidden fruit because she wanted to taste the “control” that only God is to have. We’ve struggled with that ever since. As women, we want to be God for our families – protecting, nurturing, guiding, solving the problems, on and on. Once we recognize this issue of control for what it is – trying to be God – we can let go, let God and experience peace that passes all understanding. That is until we do it again:).
By: Deb on October 26, 2009
at 8:26 am
Wow. Such a great statement. Looking forward to listening to Pete’s messages online soon.
This is something I’ve always struggled with also. I have realized over the past few years though that there is so much I can’t control and when I give that worry to God through my prayers I have so much more peace.
By: Amy on October 26, 2009
at 9:20 am
Your husband’s sermon yesterday was an 800 lb. gorilla of a sermon. I love the quote you mentioned and it’s amazing how powerful truth can come in simple, one line phrases.
I think most of the stress in my life is trying to chase that illusion instead of just letting God take care of it.
By: Jason on October 26, 2009
at 9:30 am
I’ll just second what Anna said
By: gitz on October 26, 2009
at 11:35 am
My hands were calloused and bleeding from my tight grip on the Illusional “reigns”- I finally handed them back to Him- as I was worn out from trying to control my universe.
He let me know that I really never had them in my hands anyway- but what a relief and peaceful feeling came over me when I stopped trying to control my own future, and that of my children, and husband….
An illusion is a perfect description–but the strength this “illusion” took from me was huge!
*Brandi- today I will have been blogging for one year. Pete’s blog was the very first blogsite I came across- then his powerful messages on your churchsite and then I found yours. All of these sites have had a wonderful impact on my life. I shared the links with my readers today- and just wanted to say God Bless you and your family. You are inspirational.
By: sherri on October 26, 2009
at 12:16 pm
How can I get my hands on a copy of that sermon? Sounds like something I need to hear (again and again). God keeps working on my control issues no matter how many times I tell him I get it. But He’s right–I don’t. Having kids is a good way to remind me that really, I don’t.
By: Melissa on October 26, 2009
at 12:29 pm
I couldn’t agree more. I am someone who needs to feel in control, and I know it is because of things that have happened in the past that I had no control over.
Thank you for sharing this because I never looked at my control issues as an illusion but now I see how it totally is .. Not knowing what is next freaks me out, but that’s where faith comes into play and trusting that God’s plan is grand and better than anything I could have ever planned!
By: Krislyn on October 26, 2009
at 1:56 pm
Hey Melissa,
Here’s the link… http://www.crosspoint.tv/media/faith-hope–love/ I don’t think yesterdays message is up yet, but should be up later today. Hope you enjoy it.
By: brandiandboys on October 26, 2009
at 2:34 pm
Wanna be control-freak here! Becoming a parent and living in a 3rd world country have lessened the ideal that we can truly have control… but it’s an underlying struggle nonetheless.
By: Kendra on October 26, 2009
at 2:36 pm
I can’t wait to listen to this sermon series. I also think it is rad that your hubs is your pastor. It always fascinates me that relationship pastors and pastors wives have. Sorry – that had nothing to do with what you are asking. Yes. I think it’s true. Control is an illusion. I wouldn’t say that I am a control freak with situation…but with emotions and trying to get a grip on my heart. Like the things that I need to obey and submit to come down more to the deep dark places in my heart and mind – rather then the where and who. I think that is probably because I never really know what is happening and I depend on my husband to help make the decisions and to lead….but my heart- yeah, that is a whole other issue.
By: kristiapplesauce on October 26, 2009
at 3:01 pm
Love that comment. I used to try to control everything, because I had no control as a victim of abuse. I did pretty well, until one day, as a parent, my control was shattered and my son became the victim of a terrible crime. With that, I was crushed, yet through that I learned that control really is an ‘illusion’. Now, today I’m following God, who is only giving me the next step one at a time. I don’t like it (I want the whole picture!), but I’ve learned that He really is the only one who has control.
By: Rindy Walton on October 26, 2009
at 3:56 pm
I don’t think it’s bad to try to keep control over your life in the ways you can. I like a neat house rather than lots of visual clutter and chaos. I like the laundry done and put away instead of heaping up and hanging over my head. I like to keep my paperwork under control. All of those things help me keep a calm demeanor, and I can’t think of a single thing that’s wrong with that.
But I also worry a lot about things I just can’t control when instead I should probably have faith that 95% of the time I am fine and safe and loved, as are my friends and family. The other 5% of the time, I need to practice the philosophy, “when it rains, I let it,” because what are you going to do but let it, lol? That’s a toughie for me.
By: Jan on October 26, 2009
at 5:42 pm
so true. and so hard for me to accept (in terms of my actions lining up with my beliefs).
my illusion of control really boils down to a belief that i can handle things better than He can. (gasp!) spelled out so bluntly, of course i see not only how wrong but absolutely foolish that is.
but in the moment when i attempt to figure things out on my own or try to force an outcome without faith, that’s exactly what my actions are saying: i know better than He does. i can take better care of me than He can.
oh me of little faith…
By: alece on October 26, 2009
at 7:32 pm
Anna and Gitz get it! God took my health a couple years ago and took me to the point of no control and surrendering myself, my body, my husband, my three kids, my whole life to him. I NO LONGER had any control over anything in my life and it was the best thing for me. David, Job, Paul, so many others have had to surrender it all to God. It is really what created in them a heart for their God that was beautiful! For some reason God has brought beauty from my ahses and it has not been anything from my control, but God has slowly given me back my health, my family, etc. It is very difficult when God strips us down, but I would not trade those “treasures in the midst of the darkness” for anything. Now, I know what it feels like to no longer control.
God help me surrender it all to you, so I no longer struggle with control……. God help me surrender ALL to you! God help me not forget that you ultimately are in control of everything in my life and I am so thankful.
By: Wendy on October 26, 2009
at 11:38 pm
Here’s my thoughts on control.The more I let go of it the better the holy spirit can work it’s magic.When I don’t have it in the way(control) then Jesus has free reign of the way.And I do know he’s way is the best,freest way to go.I have to remind myself over and over somethings aren’t for me to do or for me to take care of ,so I have
to stop so he can and will do if I just stop.Cuz when he does things,they’re done right forever.
By: Monica on October 27, 2009
at 12:00 am
So true! My biggest issue is with thinking I can control the things which can’t be. Socrates said “Wisdom is knowing that we know nothing” That is my mantra.
By: Stephanie on October 29, 2009
at 2:52 am