Posted by: brandiandboys | May 9, 2008

We Are SO Different

That is the phrase my husband used a few weeks ago that led to an evening of intense fellowship between without wax and brandiandboys. Our conversation went something like this.

brandiandboys - What do you mean we are SO different. We’ve been married 12 years, 4 months, and 9 days. We have three children together. We’ve been through two church plants, built two houses, remodeled one and you’re just now realizing that. Are you telling me you want a divorce? (sometimes I tend to be a little irrational, but rarely)

without wax - No, I am just saying we’re different, that’s all.

The discussion lasted a little longer than that, but those are the highlights. Over the last few weeks I have digested that statement and as I was cooking dinner tonight I saw a perfect example of how different we really are. For instance, we both had quesadillas for dinner tonight, but notice the contrasts.

Pete’s Quesadilla - chicken and cheese

Brandi’s Quesadilla - chicken, cheese, artichoke hearts, red onion, and mushrooms. (Just for the record I only ate half of that giant quesadilla and saved the rest for lunch the next day)

Conclusion - We are different, he’s plain, I’m sassy!

Regardless of differences, I’m very blessed to have a husband who loves me, a husband who is a fantastic father, and a husband who doesn’t want a good marriage, but wants a great marriage. He’s the best. Here’s to differences.

So what do you think, do opposites attract?

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Responses

i heard ‘opposites attract then they attack’! = )

just caught the contest vid! thanx for the laugh!!
=D

By: Wanita on May 9, 2008
at 6:08 am

i heard ‘opposites attract then they attack’! = )

just caught the contest vid! thanx for the laugh!!
=D

By: Wanita on May 9, 2008
at 6:15 am

I’m with Pete on the quesadilla, I have to say. Too many squishy, slimy textures in yours.

I think opposites are often drawn to each other - perhaps because we see the side of us that is not dominant, but realize our need for it. I was going to say we see the side that is weaker, but that didn’t sound very good!

By: juliepersinger on May 9, 2008
at 7:02 am

This makes me laugh…I think they would be made the same way in my house too! Heath and I are as different as night and day sometimes. I love it that we both have our own strengths and gifts and can balance each other out. I also think it helps that he is such a calm person and I am a little more high strung. Loved the video! Way to go!

By: fullofboys on May 9, 2008
at 7:07 am

Congrats on the breath holding (and for not being a L-I-A-R!) :) Haha.

Chris and I are pretty different. I am pretty adventurous (like on a scale of 1-10, a 15) and Chris is about a 5. I am also a bit overdramatic…no, let’s say, “overexpressive,” and he is completely laid back. He brings rationality to our relationship (not that I am *completely* irrational… ;) :)

He is also…organizationally challenged, where as I am ridiculously organized.

We balance each other out, no doubt! He has huge amounts of patience and grace and a servant’s heart. I heart my man!

By: anne jackson on May 9, 2008
at 7:20 am

Our differences is what make us work so well together. And the quesadilla that Pete made looks awesome to me, while my hubby would love the one you made…lol. My hubby’s ability to always see the glass half full drives me crazy sometimes but that is what gets us through the hard times of ministry. Without his easy going attitude we would have given up on ministry a long time ago. Now if we could just get everyone else around us to embrace to see the differences in people are not a bad thing….hmmm, well that would be something wouldn’t it?

By: imgladyouasked on May 9, 2008
at 8:52 am

Hmm. I think opposites can attract. I think we see the strengths in our partner that offset our weaknesses and that is what attracts us. My husband is optimistic where I am pessimistic…he hates surprises and sudden changes of plan; I see the adventure ahead and long to just pick up and go do something spontaneous. I think your quesadilla looks delicious and am already plotting my grocery store run, he would be strictly the chicken and cheese!

By: graceunbound on May 9, 2008
at 9:23 am

Okay, YOUR quesadilla looks HEAVENLY (minus mushrooms :lol: ).

My husband and I are quite opposite, so yeah, I guess they attract….but it also makes some things very difficult. ;-) Often times I have wondered, “would this be easier if we were more alike?” Yeah, it might be easier, but it might also be boring and irritating to have two of me around. :lol: Or worse, two of him. :shock: HAHAHA! :lol:

By: bransblahg on May 9, 2008
at 10:24 am

Jimmy and I are opposites in many ways. He is VERY outgoing and can talk to anyone and I am much more reserved. He loves choas and noise. I like calm and quiet. He would love your quesadilla Brandi and I would lean towards Pete’s AND Jimmy would have been the one to cook it, not me. He thinks everything is always going to work out. He says I’m a pessimist, but I prefer to think of it as having a back up plan.

I think my attraction to him initially had to do with how outgoing he is. He helps bring me out of my shell even when I don’t want to.

By: collegeknowledge on May 9, 2008
at 11:35 am

Richie says I am a pessimist too. He is a very the glass is half full kinda guy, and I am a glass is half empty girl!! I am working on being better about it. The funny thing is I get very frustrated with my kids when they are pessimistic. Don’t they say the things you get frustrated with your kids about is usually the things you don’t like about yourself? I obviously need to lead by example more.

By: Leslie on May 9, 2008
at 12:09 pm

hahaha…Jarrod and I are also very different. It keeps things interesting!

By: Laura Morris on May 9, 2008
at 12:40 pm

My husband and I are a lot different, too - especially in our food choices. I drive him crazy with how picky I am. We are also a lot alike - or have become a lot more alike after being married for almost 12 years. Sometimes those are the areas that we enable each other rather than challenge one another. I love what Leslie said about what frustrates us about our kids is usually what we don’t like about ourselves - I know I learn so much about my relationship with God from my relationship with my kids. I have been really frustrated with one of my girls this week - I need to think about this and see if there is truth to be found.

By the way - after reading your blog and some other new ones this week - I decided to give it a try. If nothing else to have a place to think in the midst of the chaos.

By: Kori on May 9, 2008
at 12:43 pm

Did somebody say DIVORCE???

You should never say that in front of a lawyer.

BTW…my wife and I are sooooo different too.

By: Jad on May 9, 2008
at 12:58 pm

Callie and I are different. I’m tall, she’s short. I’m dumb, she’s smart. I’m loud and obnoxious, she’s polite.

By: Giant Idiot on May 9, 2008
at 2:38 pm

Boy, do I think they attract?! YES! I believe this and Barry and I are a definite testament to it. Sometimes I wish we had more common interests but I think that our differences keep things exciting, yet unpredictable, which goes against my very being. HA!

It’s a catch-22 really because if we were just alike, we’d probably be bored. And when you are so different, you wish for more common threads. In summary, I am thankful that we balance each other out! ;)

By: Lori K on May 9, 2008
at 2:47 pm

@ GI, I agree with the dumb and loud and obnoxious

@ Brandi, I started crying when I read the “D” word. I don’t know what I would do if the WaxyOne and the WaxyWife….I don’t even want to say it.

By: Brian Alexander on May 9, 2008
at 3:07 pm

@BA

Oh man I am so glad you agree with me. I was worried that you wouldn’t. It is good to see you are acting like the WaxyOne’s minions.

By: Giant Idiot on May 9, 2008
at 3:14 pm

Oh, yes, opposites attract… I have concluded that this is God’s way of helping us find balance. Having a wife that is so different (yet similar, go fig) than me has helped me grow in ways that I would have never have with someone more like myself.

By: Russ Whaley on May 9, 2008
at 8:07 pm

I think we are proving that Paula Abdul’s hit, “Opposites Attract,” just might be true!

Don’t worry I am the queen of irrational!

By: Miranda on May 9, 2008
at 8:28 pm

I have to say I am with Pete on the quesadilla.

Me and Billy are so opposite. He is so laid back and I am the one that has to do everything right now.. I must say he makes me a better person I see in him alot of what I would like to have maybe that is why we work so will together.

By: Tina Mitchell on May 9, 2008
at 9:27 pm

BJ and I are very different. I am always the one who has a positive outlook on things and I won’t say he is completely negative but more discerned. I have noticed after 13 yrs of marriage that he has begun to adapt to my way of thinking just a little bit more. I think life is stressful no matter how you look at it but worrying won’t make it unfold any differently than how God deems it.
I love BJ! And you know how the quesadilla would look–I think that’s why we are such good friends!!

Brandi I love the blog! I don’t see myself doing it anytime soon but I love reading yours!!

By: Marla on May 10, 2008
at 5:06 am

I like Brandi quesadilla better? Who’s with me?

By: Brian Alexander on May 10, 2008
at 5:39 am

I think our differences go way beyond quesadillas. Women and men are very different, this is not a shocker, but it is why we need each other. Women tend to be more emotional, check that, ARE more emotional, and Men well, let’s just say they are less emotional. We don’t see things the same way and that usually translates to negative feelings from “the Wife”. It is not intentional, but more of how we are wired up. Besides if we were alike, we would end up killing each other. After 13 years I have learned 2 things, how to say “I’m sorry” and “yes dear”. And for the record, My quesadilla would look very similiar to the “WaxyOne”

By: B.J. on May 10, 2008
at 6:18 am

WOW, was that BJ Parker??? Well said my friend.

By: Brian Alexander on May 10, 2008
at 7:45 am

My husband and I have been married for almost 40 years (GASP GASP)— and I have to say we are still very different in so many ways after spending over two thirds of our lives together.
I have noticed that I have taken on some of his qualities and he has taken on some of mine. There are times when if we were more alike (that is him being more like me) things would be easier but all in all I love him just the way he is and I know he feels the same…
By the way Brandi, your quesadilla is what both of us would have chosen….

By: Laurel on May 10, 2008
at 8:50 am

so, am I a narcissist b/c I married the male version of myself?

as off beat as that sounds, Mark [the hubs] and I mirror each other in humor, cleanliness, organization, design, dress and taste.

I never thought of it until now, but it’s kind of concerning.

hmmmm…

By: cathi stegall on May 10, 2008
at 7:08 pm

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